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About Wellington

So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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Then, I head to the Botanic Gardens. Man, it’s beautiful there. The flowers are blooming, and the sun’s shining. I’m feeling good, ya know? But then, I see this kid running around, and he trips. I’m like, “Oh no!” But he gets up, brushes it off, and keeps running. Kids are tough, man. I wish I had that kind of resilience.

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