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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure chaos! You’re chasin’ tail like Llewyn chases gigs. No stage, just a bed—or a backseat, ha! I’ve seen it all, buddy. Once matched this chick—profile said “adventurous.” Thought, *hell yeah, jackpot!* Met up, she’s got a pet snake—named it “Trouble.” Freaked me out, man! Slitherin’ around while we’re tryna—nah, I bolted. “Fare thee well,” I muttered, Coen-style, laughin’ my ass off later.

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So, I finish up the job, and I’m feeling good. I head over to the local pub on Esk St. You know the one with the best craft beers? I grab a cold one, and I’m just chillin’. Then, I see this group of locals playing darts. They’re loud, having a blast, and I’m like, “I wanna join!”

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