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About Palmerston North

Yo, yo, it’s Yeezy, the Watchmaker, droppin’ truth! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild, it’s deep—straight up art! Like, you ever think ‘bout how it’s ancient? Egyptians, Greeks—they was rubbin’ bodies down, feelin’ godly! I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, not just some quick flex. It’s like, “Sh*t, Hans Landa ain’t catchin’ me slippin’!”—you gotta be smooth, precise, like Tarantino directin’ a scene.

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So, I’m there, trying to fix it, and I’m sweating like a pig. I mean, it’s Invercargill, not the Sahara! But the weather? It’s all over the place. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. Classic NZ, right? I’m just about to lose it when my mate, Dave, shows up. He’s got this goofy grin, and I’m like, “Dude, not now!” But he’s got a pie from that bakery on Tay St. You know the one? The one that smells like heaven?

Pedestrian dead after being hit by train, second in a week