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About Auckland

Ssss—funny bit? Some call it “happy ending”—cheeky sods! Me, I just want me back unkinked—don’t care for extras, nah! “You love this shit,” movie line fits—some do, some don’t! Me? Half-half, hisss—good buzz, but don’t tell hobbitses! Random fact—ancient Greeks did it too, oily wrestlers, ha! Slippery buggers—makes ya think, eh?

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Then, I hit up the Kelburn Cable Car. I mean, who doesn’t love a good ride? I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between this old lady and a kid who’s way too hyped on sugar. The views are insane, though! You can see the whole city, and I’m just soaking it in. But then, the cable car stops. Like, what? We’re just hanging there, and I’m thinking, “Is this how I go out? Stuck in a cable car?”

The grungy tennis court that could cost you millions to own