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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, awright? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? I’m an accountant, yeah, crunchin’ numbers all day, but this? This ain't no tax return! Gets me all riled up, like. So, picture this – some dodgy parlour, right, dim lights, smells like cheap oil and desperation. Reminds me o’ *Fish Tank*, that flick I love – “You’re a long way from nowhere,” y’know? That lass Mia, dancin’ wild, it’s like that vibe, but with slippery hands!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the local bakery on the corner of Archibald Rd. You know the one with the pies? I grabbed a mean steak and cheese pie. It was heavenly. I could’ve eaten ten of ‘em. But then, I saw the price. I was like, “What?!” Inflation is real, folks.

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