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Oh, and get this – back in Victorian times, fam, prossies used to advertise wiv coded shit in newspapers, like “lady seeks gentleman for tea” – tea, my arse! Proper sly, innit? Made me happy, that did, ‘cos they was outsmartin’ everyone, even back then. Little brain teaser for ya there, bruv.
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Strolling down the street, I passed the Kelston Mall. It’s not huge, but it’s got everything. I thought, “Maybe I’ll pop in for a quick look.” Big mistake. I got sucked into a sale at one of those trendy shops. You know the type—clothes that look good but cost an arm and a leg. I ended up trying on this ridiculous jacket. I looked like a walking marshmallow. I mean, who do I think I am? I’m not a fashion icon!
Author, former teacher claimed child sex abuse material was 'writing inspiration'
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