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Now, if yer thinkin’ bout it – don’t be a fool of a Took! It’s dicey out there. Web’s full of scams, X posts promisin’ “hot dates” – half’s fake, half’s cops. “Ass to ass!” – nah, more like wallet to dust. Gets me paranoid, thinkin’ – who’s watchin’? Big Brother? Sauron? Same diff. I’d rather smoke my pipe, watch *Requiem* again, and cry over Marion’s damn fridge scene.

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Finally, we make it back to shore, and I’m outta breath. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta chill!” He just laughs it off, says he was just tryin’ to impress his mates. I’m thinkin’, “Impress them by not drownin’, bro!”

Bay News: Kerikeri team wins in charity quiz night against The Dark Destroyer, Rumble in Russell