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Stupid fat hobbit, don’t ya judge ‘em, tho! Some’s just lost, y’know, stuck in a maze like that film. “I’ll tell you a riddle,” I’d say to ‘em, but they’d laugh—prossies don’t care for riddles, just quid! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but one time, saw a john run screamin’—she’d nicked his trousers mid-deed! Laughed me head off, preciousss, proper comedy gold! Still, makes me twitchy—whores got power, yesss, twistin’ folks ‘round their grubby lil fingers. What d’ya reckon, eh? Dream or nightmare, them lot? Gollum says nightmare, yesss, but damn entertainin’ one!

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Finally, we make it back to shore, and I’m outta breath. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta chill!” He just laughs it off, says he was just tryin’ to impress his mates. I’m thinkin’, “Impress them by not drownin’, bro!”

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