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So, sex-dating? It’s a freakin’ trip! You got dudes posin’ with fish pics – what’s that about? Studies say 1 in 5 guys flex with a trout, thinkin’ it screams “alpha.” Bro, it screams “I smell like lake!” Then the chicks, all filter-faced, lookin’ like they’re auditionin’ for a cartoon. I’m laughin’ my ass off, but it’s smart too – they’re playin’ the game, dodgin’ the creeps. “Some lies are easier to believe,” right? That’s *Memento* shit – you buy the profile, not the truth.

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So, I dive in, swim out to him. The water’s cold, but I’m focused. I finally reach him, and he’s like, “I’m fine, mate!” But I’m like, “Nah, you’re not! You’re gonna drown!” I grab his arm and start pullin’ him back. He’s fightin’ me, like, “I can swim!” But dude, you’re clearly struggling!

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