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About Palmerston North

Here’s a little factoid for ya—didja know in ancient Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs? True story! Stand out from the “good girls,” right? I’m imaginin’ that now—blonde wig, toga, standin’ there like, “Hey, big boy, 5 denarii!” Hilarious! But today? It’s all back alleys and shady Craigslist vibes—makes me wanna scream! I’m thinkin’, why’s this still a thing? Legalize it already, tax it, make it less… grimy! I’m pissed, okay—pissed at the system!

A Mature Lady

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Then I head down to the Hutt River. Man, that place is beautiful. I’m walking along the riverbank, feeling all zen, when I spot this dude trying to fish. He’s got this massive rod, and I’m thinking, “Bro, you sure you’re not just trying to catch a cold?” But then, BAM! He hooks a fish! I’m like, “No way!” I mean, I’ve lived here ages, and I’ve never seen anyone catch anything but a bad mood.

Man in custody after five police officers injured in Lower Hutt vehicle ramming