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About Hastings

So, picture this, yeah? Some geezer, trained up proper, not just any muppet, working them fingers like he’s calming a spooked horse. It’s *ars gratia artis* – art for art’s sake, but with a naughty twist! Little known fact, right – back in ancient Rome, they’d do this at the baths, all oiled up, toga off, *cave felis* – beware the cat, or somethin’ like that! Makes me chuckle, them posh Romans getting frisky between chariot races.

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First off, I’m cruising down Lynfield Ave, thinking about my coffee fix. I mean, who can function without caffeine? Not me! I swing by the local café, you know, the one on the corner of Lynfield and Wattle. I order my usual – flat white, extra shot. The barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free muffin. Sweet, right? But I’m still a bit miffed.

Israel’s trajectory into a nascent police state