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Alright, so I’m thinkin’—findin’ a prostitute, huh? Pretty, pretty good idea, maybe, or maybe not! I mean, jeez, where do ya even start? Back in the day, ya had street corners, right? Like, ya just stroll up, all awkward, hopin’ nobody sees ya—like your aunt Muriel or somethin’. “What’s Larry doin’ over there?” Nothin’, Muriel, mind your beeswax! Now it’s all online, apps, websites—bam, digital hookups. Kinda wild, kinda creepy, honestly. I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’, thinkin’, “Am I really doin’ this?” Like Marco in *Talk to Her*, ya know? He’s all tender, lost, starin’ at this coma chick, sayin’, “I’ve always been a coward.” That’s me, pal—too chicken to even click “book now”!

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Finally, I get to Jake’s place on McKenzie Rd. He’s got boxes everywhere. I’m talking chaos. I’m like, “Dude, you said just a few boxes!” He laughs and says, “Surprise!” I’m not laughing. I’m sweating. We start hauling stuff, and I’m already regretting my life choices.

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