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About New Plymouth

I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause one time, my cousin Shonda tried it—met this fool who said he was “runnin’ the world like Immortan Joe.” Chile, he showed up with no car, no job, and a flip phone! I hollered, “Run ‘em down, Furiosa-style!” She was done, y’all—done! Made me laugh so hard I near ‘bout peed myself. But real talk, it shocked me how bold these folks get—sextin’ five minutes in, like, “ “Put your back into it!”—calm down, we just met, Tyrone!

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Then, out of the blue, his neighbor, Mrs. Thompson, pops her head over the fence. She’s this sweet old lady, but she’s got a knack for gossip. She starts telling us about the time she saw a UFO over Mangere-East. I’m like, “Right, sure, Mrs. T.” But she’s dead serious! I can’t help but chuckle.

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