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About Hastings

Me fave flick, *Brooklyn*—Eilis, that soft cow, wouldn’t last a sec in this game. “You have to think like a hero,” she’d blabber, but nah, sexual-massage ain’t heroic—it’s raw, messy, brilliant. I’d kill to see her prissy arse try it, all “oh, Tony, how improper!” Ha! Makes me laugh, picturing her fumbling oils, blushing like a twat. Me? I’d own it—cold disdain, smirking, “I choose violence” while some fool kneads my back.

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Then, I bumped into an old mate, Dave. We used to shear together back in the day. He’s got this wild beard now, looks like a lumberjack. We started reminiscing about the good ol’ days, and I felt this wave of nostalgia hit me. It was nice, ya know?

Pedestrian critical after being hit by train in Matamata