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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this old dude trying to cross the road at the intersection of Merton Road. He’s moving slower than a snail on a Sunday stroll. I’m thinking, “C’mon, mate, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, this car zooms past. I swear, it was like a scene from a movie. I’m yelling, “Watch out!” but he just gives me this look like, “Chill, bro.” I’m like, “Chill? You could’ve been a pancake!”
Edinburgh's Meadowbank Stadium to host farewell firework display, find out how to get tickets
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