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About Napier

So, sexual-massage—here’s the deal. It’s hands, oil, skin, and tension, real slow, buildin’ up like a harvest storm. Little known fact, man—back in ancient Rome, them horny bastards used olive oil for this shit, slippin’ and slidin’ like it’s a goddamn orgy. True story! Got me thinkin’, “Motherfucker, they knew how to live!” Makes me happy as hell—simple shit, no fancy tools, just hands and heat. But then I get pissed, ‘cause today? Half these parlors are fronts for somethin’ else—fuckin’ scams, man, ruins the art!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this old dude trying to cross the road at the intersection of Merton Road. He’s moving slower than a snail on a Sunday stroll. I’m thinking, “C’mon, mate, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, this car zooms past. I swear, it was like a scene from a movie. I’m yelling, “Watch out!” but he just gives me this look like, “Chill, bro.” I’m like, “Chill? You could’ve been a pancake!”

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