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So, picture this—some dodgy backroom, Bangkok 1980s, right? Bloke invents this mad twist—uses heated bamboo sticks! Little known fact, that! Fuckin genius or totally mental? I’d say both! Makes ya muscles sing, “Sweet Mary, that’s good!” Gets me all fired up thinkin bout it—better than a soggy soufflé!

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So, I start workin’ on this pair of boots for a customer. They’re supposed to be for some fancy event at the Napier War Memorial Conference Centre. I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’ll make these boots shine like the sun!” But then, I spill glue all over the place. Ugh! I’m cursing like a sailor. My hands are sticky, and I’m pretty sure I just glued my fingers together. Classic me, right?

'There was a breakout': Herd of cows go for a dip in Napier estuary