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About Hastings

Alright, pal, listen up. Sexual-massage? Oh boy, it’s a trip. I’m Dr. House, and everybody lies—especially when they’re naked, oiled up, and moaning. You think they’re there for “relaxation”? Ha! Gimme a break. It’s all about the sneaky thrill, the hush-hush vibes. Watched *The New World* lately—Malick’s 2005 gem, my fave—and it hit me. Sexual-massage is like Pocahontas and Smith, y’know? “A new world” of touch, all wild and unspoken. “What’s past is prologue,” right? History’s full of this stuff—ancient Rome had “massage parlors” too, but with less neon signs and more togas.

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But wait, it gets crazier. I’m walking back, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the ukulele and singing some classic Kiwi tunes. I can’t help but join in. I’m belting out the lyrics, and people are laughing. It’s like a mini concert, and I’m the star. I’m not even embarrassed. Just living my best life.

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