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Lemme tell ya bout this one gal—heard it from a fisherman, swear it! She worked the docks, called herself “Salty Rose.” Ain’t that cool? Had a peg leg—yep, for realz! Lost it to a shark, they say, but she’d laugh and go, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” Straight outta the movie, like she’s pure or somethin’. Made me giggle, ‘cause, y’know, she’s a prostitute! Peg leg and all, still struttin’. I was like, whoa, that’s guts!

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Next, I decide to take a walk down Onerahi Beach. The sand is warm, the waves are crashing. I’m vibin’. But then, I see this dude trying to surf. And let me tell ya, he was not winning. Wipeout after wipeout. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke on my chips.

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