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About Tauranga

Oi mate, so ‘ere I am, Mr. Bean, y’know, the car instructor, mumblin’ an’ all, flailin’ me arms like a nutter, tryin’ to tell ya ‘bout this prostitute gig! *trips over imaginary chair* Oof! Right, so, drivin’ along, teachin’ gears, when I spot ‘er—red lips, fishnets, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me o’ that monk in *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*, y’know, “lust awakens the desire to possess”—hah! She’s possessin’ the whole bloody street, mate!

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First off, I’m heading down Moana Street, and I’m already late for my first gig. Classic me. I’m a Russian Sign Language translator, and I’m supposed to meet this family at the Orewa Beach. They’re all excited, and I’m like, “Great, let’s do this!” But then, boom! My phone dies. Just like that. No warning, no nothing. I’m standing there like a total loser, trying to remember where the heck I’m going.

21 Grand Drive, Orewa, Rodney