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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the Otaki River. It’s beautiful there, right? The water’s all sparkly, and the birds are chirping like they’re in a musical. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path, and I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, buddy!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, man.

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