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Exaggerating? Maybe. But. Sex-dating’s. Nuts. Thrilling. Scary. Like. I’m. Yelling. “Where. Is. The. Hope?!” Sometimes. It’s. Gold. Found. This. Gal. Total. Freak. In. Bed. Happy. Dance. Time. Other. Days. It’s. Dudes. Sending. Eggplant. Emojis. Ugh. Delete.

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But then, I got a text from my mate. He was stuck in traffic on the Southern Motorway. I was like, “Good luck, bro!” Traffic in Otara can be a nightmare. It’s like everyone decided to leave at the same time. I mean, come on, can’t we stagger our exits?

Auckland’s new alcohol rules step closer: ‘We don’t need bottle stores on every corner’