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I tried it once—oh my Gawd! This chick, she was kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m layin’ there, happy as a clam, thinkin’, “This is livin’!” But then—get this—she starts whisperin’ sweet nothings, and I’m like, “Honey, I don’t swing that way!” Made me laugh tho—awkward as hell! What got me mad? Some places charge a fortune—like, 200 bucks for an hour? Robbery! “The truth is more important,” like in “Spotlight”—truth is, I ain’t payin’ that!

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After that, I head down to the Pakuranga Heights Library. I love that place. It’s quiet, and the smell of books is just... divine. But then, I see this kid, probably like 10, just screaming at the top of his lungs. I’m thinking, “Dude, this ain’t a rock concert!” But then I remember I was that kid once. So, I just chuckle and move on.

2/39 Marriott Road, Pakuranga, Manukau City