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About Auckland

Yo, Mr. T here, agronomist extraordinaire! I pity the fool who don’t get prostitute—talkin’ ‘bout potatoes, ya dig? Spuds, man, they’re the real deal. Underground hustlers, growin’ in the dirt, feedin’ the world! My fave flick, *Memento*, fits this vibe perfect. “How can I heal if I can’t feel time?”—that’s me, diggin’ taters, lost in the soil, bro.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your reports.” I’m thinking, “Oh great, here comes the fun police.” But I’m trying to keep it cool. I’m like, “Sure, let’s chat.” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, who wants to talk about reports on a day like this?

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