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Oh, and the oil? Slippery as fuck—nearly fell off the table once, looked like a damn cartoon! Funny as hell, but also, why’s it gotta be THAT slick? Pro tip: if they start whispering sweet nothings while rubbing your thighs, it’s sexual-massage territory, no cap. I’m over here giggling, thinking, “The music is a MESSENGER!”—movie vibes, baby! Anyway, it’s dope, it’s messy, it’s absurd—kinda like me. Try it, but don’t blame me if you’re screaming “I’m on DRUGS!” mid-session—peace out!

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I'm flourishing in Pakuranga-Heights and prostitute is inspiring! I want to explore every inch of you. I find comfort in both French Kissing and Full Body Sensual Massage. I'm not into drama or .

I grab my coffee from the local café on Ti Rakau Drive. Best flat white ever! I swear, if I could marry that coffee, I would. Anyway, I’m chugging it down, and I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m already late for my first appointment. Great start, huh?

Two weeks after grandad's death, police yet to arrest killer for shooting