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Me personally? I’d be rubbish at it – too loud, too sloppy, ha! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – I’d scare em off screamin me head off. But respect, yeah? Takes guts, swagger, to do escort in this mad world. What ya reckon, mate? It’s a hustle, a game, like codin Facebook in a dorm – just messier, dirtier, and a damn sight more fun!

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So, I’m cruising down Great South Rd, right? Just me and my coffee, trying to wake up. I’m half asleep, and suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what the heck? It’s 8 AM, not rush hour! Turns out, some dude decided to park his car on the side of the road like it’s a freaking picnic spot. I mean, come on, mate! This is Papakura, not a car show!

Oxford honours pioneering Māori scholar with posthumous degree