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So, picture this—dark alley, stinks o’ piss. We hates it! This lass, she’s there, all tarted up. “What’s yer price, love?” I croaks. She eyes me like I’m a bleedin’ toad. Fair enough—I am! Made me mad, tho. Why’s she judgin’? I got coin, don’t I? Little fact—back in Victorian times, prossies had secret signals. Hand on hip meant “I’m game.” Hers was glued there, ha!

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After a while, things calm down. I finally get a breather. I step outside for some fresh air on the corner of East Tamaki Road. The smell of fish and chips wafts through the air. I can’t resist. I grab a quick bite from the local shop. Best decision ever! Those chips are crispy, and the fish is fresh. I’m in heaven.

‘Assault incident’ at Z petrol station in Papatoetoe leaves two injured, one critically