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About Napier

So, like, findin’ a prossie ain’t hard if ya know where to look. Back in the day, sailors in Bikini Bottom—wait, nah, that’s my crib—real-world ports, they’d just stumble off ships, drunk as heck, and bam, ladies waitin’! Little fact for ya: in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”—joy girls, heh, fancy! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I’d be all, “Hiya, joy girl, got any krabby patties?”

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First off, I’m just settin’ up, and this dude stumbles in. I mean, he’s got that “I just lost a fight with a bottle” look. His name’s Dave, or at least that’s what he slurred. He’s tryin’ to order a drink, but he can barely stand. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not gettin’ anything but a taxi home.” He gets all huffy, like I’m the bad guy. C’mon, man! I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace on Rimu Road!

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