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About Wellington

Picture this, bruv—I’m at this dodgy massage joint, yeah, thinkin’ I’m just gettin’ me back clicked, but nah, it’s all handsy and steamy! I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” ‘cos the geezer’s givin’ me these mad looks while he’s oilin’ me up. Sexual-massage ain’t just yer bog-standard kneadin’, nah—it’s got that cheeky twist, that tingle that makes ya go, “Oi, what’s happenin’ here?!” Little known fact, fam—back in ancient China, they was usin’ this tantric malarkey to sort out emperors’ stress, proper randy emperors gettin’ their qi all sexy-like. Mad, innit?

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Then, outta nowhere, this group of girls bursts in, all giggles and glitter. They’re celebrating some birthday or whatever. I’m thinkin’, “Great, some fun!” But then they start ordering shots like they’re at a wedding. I’m like, “Ladies, slow down! You’re in Paraparaumu, not Vegas!” But they’re having the time of their lives, and honestly, it’s kinda infectious. I can’t help but smile.

Foo Fighter Tribute Everlong At Rock The Pinetrees - The Pinetree Arms, Paraparaumu