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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, I dive into brothel story! Very nice! I see brothel, I think – sexy time, yes? Like in “Children of Men,” world all crazy, no bebe, just sad. Brothel? It’s opposite! People go, make boom-boom, feel alive! I visit one in Kazakhstan, secret place, behind goat market. Smell funny, like sheep and perfume – wery strong! Little known fact – they hide it good, even police no find. Very nice!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Parklands Shopping Centre. I needed some snacks, ya know? As I’m walking down Waimairi Road, I spot this cute dog. I mean, it was adorable! A little golden retriever, just chillin’. I’m like, “Aww, can I pet him?” The owner’s all like, “Sure, but he bites.” I’m like, “What?!” I just wanted a cuddle, not a trip to the ER!

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