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About Wellington

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout prostitutes, yeah? Shaken, not stirred, that’s me, James bloody Bond, suave as hell. I’ve seen em all, dolled up in tight skirts, heels clickin’ like a damn metronome. Reminds me of *The Great Beauty*, that flick I adore— “to be the gretaest, and yet nothing.” That’s them, innit? Struttin’ round, all flash, no cash, chasin’ somethin’ they can’t grab.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Porirua Harbour. Man, the views there are epic! The water’s glistening, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my muffin! Like, bro, chill! It’s not even that good! I’m flailing my arms, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, just another day in Porirua.”

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