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About New Plymouth

Alright, y’all, lemme tell ya ‘bout whores—man, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Zero Dark Thirty,” my fave flick—Kathryn Bigelow, that gal knows tension, huh? Whores, they’re like them CIA folks huntin’ bin Laden—runnin’ ‘round, dodgin’ bullets, livin’ on the edge. Dr. Phil here, y’all, with that Southern drawl, askin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” ‘Cause, dang, it ain’t always pretty!

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After that, I head over to the Porirua City Centre. I’m thinking, “Let’s do some shopping.” I hit up the mall, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew everyone and their dog would be there? I’m dodging prams and old ladies like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Finally, I find a cool shop on the second floor. They’ve got these funky tees. I grab one that says, “I survived Porirua traffic.” So true, right?

Iwi-owned seafood processing factory opens in Porirua