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Here I am, mates, David Attenborough style, calm as a breeze, talkin bout prostitutes, yeah, those wild creatures of the night. Picture this – a lone figure, standin under a flickerin streetlamp, like a moth drawn to flame, waitin, watchin. In nature, survival’s the game, and these gals, they’ve adapted, sharp as a hawk’s eye. Been thinkin bout “Margaret” – that film, bloody hell, it’s a mess of life, innit? Lisa screamin, “I’m a very interestin person!” – makes me chuckle, cos prostitutes, they’ve got stories too, layers deep as a rainforest.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling all good, when I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude just smashed his car into a lamppost on the corner of Harris Street. Like, bro, how do you even manage that? I mean, it’s not like the lamppost was hiding or anything. I’m half tempted to go help, but then I remember I’m not a mechanic. So, I just stand there, sipping my coffee, watching the chaos unfold.

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