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Little known fact? Back in ‘90s, Jersey had dese “sex lines”—phone numbers ya called, dirty talk for cash. Precursor to dis app crap. Guys’d spend hundreds, jerkin’ it to some voice—pathetic, right? Now it’s free an’ faster, but same game. Tony Soprano don’t play dat, though—I’d rather whack somebody den swipe all night. Sex-datin’s got no soul, like Ida losin’ her faith. “What’s it all mean?” she’d ask. Me? I’m askin’, “Where’s da fuckin’ respect?”

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Finally, I get home, and I’m like, “I need a nap.” But nooo, my phone starts buzzing. It’s my mate, Sam. He’s like, “Let’s hit the pub!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m soaked!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, it’ll be fun!”

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