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Me? I’d pick one with style. Like, if I’m payin’, they better vibe. Maybe quote some “Pan’s Labyrinth” at me. “A long time ago, in the underground realm…” - boom, I’m sold. Ain’t no fairy tale, tho. You gotta watch your wallet. And your back. Escorts can be slick - heard this story once. Chick took a guy’s whole watch collection. Left him with a note: “Time’s up, sucker.” Savage. Laughed my ass off at that.

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So, I throw on some dry clothes and head out. We hit up the local pub on the corner of Victoria and Queen Streets. It’s packed, but we manage to snag a table. I order a pint, and just as I’m about to take a sip, I spill it all over myself. Classic me, right?

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