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About Hastings

Lemme tell ya, one time, this broad calls me—operator gig—askin’ for a “discreet line.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your pimp!” Turns out, she’s runnin’ an escort thing outta Bayonne. Classy chick, too—dressed like she’s goin’ to a freakin’ gala. Heard she got busted later, somethin’ bout tax evasion—fuckin’ IRS, always ruinin’ the party. Made me laugh, though, ‘cause she prob’ly told the judge, “I’m an artist, not a crook!” Like Caden in the movie, buildin’ his weird-ass life stage.

Raumati Beach Strippers

After the chaos, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish again. So, I hit up this food truck on Raumati Beach Ave. They’ve got the best fish and chips. I order a massive serving, and the guy behind the counter is like, “You sure you can handle that?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a charcoal burner. I can handle anything!”

Stressful: Family always on rainfall red alert