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Ever think how they’re, like, therapists too? Listenin’ to dudes cryin’ bout their wives—hilarious! She’d laugh, “I fix ‘em up, send ‘em home.” Sarcasm drippin’ like honey, man. Once saw her scare off a creep with just a glare—surprised me, balls of steel! Oh, and get this—Victorian hookers used lemon wedges for birth control. Nuts, right? Bet that stung like hell.

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After that, I head back to the community centre, and the kids are still buzzing. I decide to do a little motivational speech. I’m all like, “You guys can be anything you want!” But then, someone yells, “Except a cat!” and the whole room erupts in laughter. I can’t even be mad. It’s Rolleston, man.

Police investigating horrific footage of man violently attacking dog in Rolleston