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About Wellington

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage with ya. Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, some poor sap like me gettin’ kneaded like dough. It’s wild, lemme tell ya! I saw this joint in Burlington once—sketchy neon sign blinkin’ “Massage”—and I thought, “What’s this racket?” Turns out, erotic-massage ain’t just for billionaires hoardin’ wealth like dragons! Nope, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had it, Greeks too, rubbin’ down soldiers after battles. Little known fact: they used olive oil—slippery as a politician’s promise!

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First off, I hit up Tutanekai Street. You know, the main drag? It’s always buzzing. I grab my flat white from this little café called Capers. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ it, feelin’ all good, when I see this dude, like, totally lose it over a parking spot. I mean, c’mon, it’s Rotorua, not New York! Chill, bro!

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