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About Palmerston North

*leans in, whispers* Sometimes, tho, it’s awkward—stranger touchin’ ya, “Lift your head,” she says, like in “Amour,” but less… death-y. Surprised me how good it feels, tho—muscles all loosey-goosey! *twirls finger* Happy vibes, mate, til she whacks me knotty back—oww! “You’re so tense,” she says—cheeky cow! Reminds me Haneke’s film, “You’re suffering,” but sexy version, ha!

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Then, I head over to the lakefront. Man, Lake Rotorua is stunning. The steam rising from the geothermal vents is like nature’s own fog machine. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I spot a family trying to take a selfie. They’re all crowded together, and the dad’s like, “Say cheese!” But the kid’s just staring at a duck. Classic. I’m laughing, but then I realize I’m late for my shift. Oops!

Fake cop: Teen impersonates police officer at hospital