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About Hamilton

So, picture this—me, sippin’ mead, watchin’ *Amour* (best flick ever, fight me), and I’m thinkin’, “Love’s a slow bleed, innit?” Sex-dating’s the opposite—fast, chaotic, like me dodgin’ Thor’s hammer. In *Amour*, Georges says, “Things will go on as they have”—grim, right? But sex-dating’s all “nah, next!” No lingerin’, no nursin’ the wreckage. It’s a game, and I’m the god of games—burdened with glorious purpose to outwit these horny fools. Like, did ya know Victorian blokes used “personal ads” in papers for hookups? “Gentleman seeks discreet lady”—same shit, different tech!

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I start my sermon, and halfway through, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my heartfelt message about kindness? I’m trying to keep it together while everyone’s looking around like they’re in a horror movie. I’m like, “Stay calm, folks! It’s just a drill!” But deep down, I’m thinking, “Who’s gonna save me from this chaos?”

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