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But real talk, Prostitute’s no joke. Tough gig. Makes me mad thinkin’ bout the creeps out there. Still, she’s got this vibe—untouchable, like a stock that won’t crash. I’d tell her, “You’re a masterpiece, darlin’.” She’d probs laugh, say, “Buy me a drink, cheapskate.” Fair. I’d do it, too—whisky, neat. In my head, I’m paintin’ her story, all soft strokes and wild colors. Happy little trees swayin’ in the chaos.

IN-DEPTH: How St. John’s is working to make Long’s Hill area safer for sex workers and residents

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Then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get any weirder, I got a call from my boss. Apparently, there was a mix-up with the soil samples I sent in. They were supposed to be tested for pH levels, but they ended up testing for something else entirely. I was fuming! Like, how does that even happen?

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