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But lemme tell ya, shit gets messy. Dudes haggled her down—50 bucks? Pissed me off! Greed’s good, but cheapskates? Trash. She was all sass, tho—told ‘em to shove it. Made me proud, like, yeah, own it! Then there’s the risks—cops, creeps, STDs—fuckin’ wild west out there. Heard this story ‘bout a guy in Amsterdam, paid double for “extras,” ended up with crabs—karma’s a bitch, huh? Had me cacklin’—dumbass got what he deserved!

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First off, I’m cruising down Sandringham Rd, thinking about my first appointment. Gotta meet this dude, Dave, at the café on the corner of New North Rd. I’m pumped, right? I pull up, and the café’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll just grab a flat white and wait.” But nooo, the barista’s having a meltdown. Coffee everywhere! I’m talking full-on espresso explosion. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just coffee!” But he’s all frazzled, and I’m losing my patience.

3/18 Arabi Street, Sandringham, Auckland City