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Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all lewd—nah, it’s art, mate! Them Thai lassies, twistin’ ye like a pretzel, crackin’ yer bones, then slidin’ into somethin’ spicier—exaggeratin’? Mayhaps, but me mind’s a whirl! Ever hear o’ “lingam” massage? Aye, them eastern folk, worshippin’ the ol’ lad down there—respect, I say! Had me laughin’ like a hyena, picturin’ meself struttin’ out, proud as a peacock.

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I lock up, head down to the local pub on Springlands Drive. Grab a pint, and I’m just chillin’. The bartender, Lisa, she’s got the best stories. We’re laughing, and I’m thinking, “Man, I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

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