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Alright, so I’m an insurance investigator, right? And I’m thinkin’—find a prostitute, what a freakin’ mess that’d be! I mean, you’re diggin’ through claims, frauds, and then—bam!—some lady’s invoicing "services" from Timbuktu! Not the movie, mind you, but the vibe—dusty, chaotic, "the world’s gone mad!" like Sissako’d say. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, neurotic as hell, goin’, “Who’s payin’ for this?!” Pretty, pretty good scam, huh?

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So, I finally make it to the lake. It’s beautiful, right? But then I see this group of tourists trying to take selfies. They’re blocking the whole path! I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not that serious!” I mean, I get it, but there’s a time and place. I just wanna enjoy the view, ya know?

Mark Williams banked massive £200,000 payday but said he wouldn’t see a penny