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Once saw this lad in Staines with a souped-up Escort, bright red, loud as fuck – exhaust poppin’ like gunshots. I was like, “Bruv, you’re nang!” He told me it was his dad’s, handed down – proper legacy ting. Made me happy, fam, cos it’s real, not some fake flex. But then I’m thinkin’, why ain’t more mandem ridin’ these? Is it ‘cos they’re old? Nah, they’re slept on, bruv – pure disrespect!
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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He spills his ice cream all over my kimono. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, it’s a beautiful day, and now I’m a walking ice cream disaster. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?!”
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