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About Auckland

Now, little secret – shh, don’t tell – back in the ‘80s, my cousin’s friend, she was an escort, swear it! Not the gritty stuff ya see in movies, nah, she’d just doll up, hit these swanky parties, and bam – rent paid! I was shocked, like, “Whaaat? You’re livin’ fancy offa that?” Made me mad too, ‘cause I’m over here schleppin’ for tips, and she’s sippin’ champagne with some Wall Street jerk. Ugh, the nerve!

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So we start choppin’ wood, right? And I’m swingin’ my axe like a pro. But then, outta nowhere, I slip on some mud. I go down hard, like a tree fallin’ in slow-mo. My mates are crackin’ up, and I’m just layin’ there, covered in muck. “Real classy, bro,” one of ‘em says. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

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