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But get this – it’s not all roses. Some dodgy parlours out there, mate – had me fuming! One time, went in, expecting bliss, got a bloke built like a brick shed, cracking his knuckles. I’m like, “Nah, fam, this ain’t the vibe!” Stormed out, proper vexed – waste of me hard-earned quid! Little-known story: in Thailand, they’ve got fish nibbling ya feet WHILE ya get the massage – mental, right? Imagine that pitch in a boardroom – “Fish and fondling, lads, who’s in?”

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So we start choppin’ wood, right? And I’m swingin’ my axe like a pro. But then, outta nowhere, I slip on some mud. I go down hard, like a tree fallin’ in slow-mo. My mates are crackin’ up, and I’m just layin’ there, covered in muck. “Real classy, bro,” one of ‘em says. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

One dead and another seriously hurt in east Auckland crash at Sunnyhills