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Oh, and the profiles – pure comedy gold! “Looking for my Netflix and chill” – mate, you’re not fooling anyone, we all know what that means! Or the ones with pics of their ex cropped out – you can still see the arm! *Cave felis*, beware the catfishes, I say! Gives me the giggles, but also – crikey, the effort! Little-known tale – heard from a mate, swear it’s true – some geezer got catfished by his own cousin on a sex-dating app. Imagine the family BBQ after that! “You bastard, pass the sausages!”

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a butcher in Taita is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the meat I gotta prep. Taita’s a small place, but it’s got its quirks. You got the main drag, High St, where all the action happens.

Four Taita Taveta officials charged for theft of Ksh.7M World War I event funds