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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m Larry, the forester, talkin’ ‘bout erotic-massage. Yeah, that slippery, steamy goodness! I reckon it’s like choppin’ wood—takes skill, rhythm, and a good grip. Watched “The Headless Woman” last night—Lucrecia Martel, 2008, my fave! That flick’s all confusin’, hazy, kinda like how yer brain gets durin’ a rubdown. “I didn’t see anything,” she says—ha! Same vibe when yer gettin’ massaged into next week!

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So, I duck into this little shop on The Square. It’s packed with all sorts of knick-knacks. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this old lady. She’s haggling over a wool sweater. I mean, it’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck. She’s all, “I’m not paying that much!” and the shopkeeper’s like, “Lady, it’s hand-knitted!” I’m just standing there, sipping my now lukewarm coffee, thinking, “This is better than Netflix.”

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