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About Hastings

But yo, some clowns pimped Escorts out—neon paint, spoilers, ugh! Trash! Like turnin’ Gigolo Joe into a Walmart knockoff! Pisses me off—keep it pure, fam! Ain’t no perfect car, but Escort? Close, real close. I’d cruise one, blastin’ beats, yellin’, “They’re just human!”—like in the movie, judgin’ me, but I’m free! Ye out, peace!

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First off, I hit up the local café on George St. Best flat whites in town, no cap. I’m standing there, waiting for my coffee, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, and there’s a bird acting like it owns the place. I’m like, “Is this a café or a petting zoo?”

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